There will be country for women !!!!

Like all mornings I woke up today to rich music of birds in a lush green BHU campus. Totally shielded from the outer world, living in my own cocoon, I could not feel anything but pure bliss. I got down to making some tea for me and switched on the TV. Besides the DELHI election news, there was once again a ‘BADI KHABAR” about a gang rape video which showed 5 young men raping a women and smiling and posing for the video. Not again I thought and changed the channel. In the ongoing 50 “Fatafat khabrein”, I again saw a news of an 8 yr old girl found murdered in Karnataka. She was allegedly raped and murdered. I turned off the TV and turned over to my laptop to do the daily morning ritual i.e. checking facebook.. Not surprisingly the gang rape video was all over the newsfeed. There were feelings of anguish and sympathy. Nothing more, nothing less. I clicked on the video. 5 seconds on and I was trembling. I shut down my laptop and it took almost 10-15 minutes for my heart to stop pounding like hell. I felt as if it would come out. I waited and finally picked up the newspaper. Nothing new but the same old MODI-OBAMA analysis, Delhi Elections and political masala. Then there was this news of IS Women manifesto. It was shocking and reminded me of my ex-classmate’s recent share on facebook which goes like this:

(Well this is common with all the religious fundamentalists… My ex-classmate is not to be blamed for it.. )

And then there was this op-ed on comparing AAP’s and BJP’s strategies to curb sexual violence in the rape capital. This is all what I saw or more correctly what was shown. I’m sure hundreds of girls are raped everyday and many die a slow death especially in villages, only the lucky or may be the unlucky ones come into focus. The perpetrators roam freely like raptors looking for the fresh prey.

 I was now very much awake. 2 hrs out of sleep and the reality struck me hard. It really did strike hard !!

Well my male chauvinist or anti-feminist friends would be smiling reading all this. As usual they’ll say that its not only the women girl !!! Even men are raped and face eve-teasing… Why do you always want sympathy ? You demand equality and still want special privileges everywhere. That is the real point. Equality!!! Do we really have it in this world? Are men and women equal? Do we really have the “Right to life and liberty” and “Right to live with dignity”? Do we really do not face any discrimination as article 15 and 16 says. Do we really belong here???

If men and women are equal, why is it then, I and my family never felt protective even about my younger brother when he used to go out at night for any of his chores. I used to be worried about the goons but never did I think that a girl could sexually assault him on the way (though we all cared when he was a kid as we feared about him being abducted and forced into begging etc etc..But this all stopped once his height crossed mine :P) Neither did I feel this for my papa or my father in law or my husband or any of my friends. But they always did. My mother use to wait outside until I returned from coaching at night. My brother gets worried whenever I am alone on long journeys on train. My friends take care that I am safe while straphanging in buses. I never cared for them. May be they were not attractive enough for girls or women …But neither am I. From the age of around 15 till now, men of all ages have either stared or passed comments or pinched or have leaned over in buses and what not… I’m sure its the same story with every girl. WE ARE NOT TREATED EQUALS!!!!!!!!!!

It is not only about sexual harassment which is a daily phenomenon but about the minute to minute discrimination. Whether a women is working or a housewife, she is expected to be the perfect employee, the perfect maid, the perfect cook, the perfect mother, the perfect teacher etc. There are many to judge her performance in all these roles and even her character, her weight and what not. But do men pass through all these?? Right from the humiliation while being paraded as a prospective wife to changing surnames and religion after marriage to the ignominy of being a widow, life is very different for the two genders (not counting the transgenders whose suffering is anyway beyond comprehension). WE ARE INDEED NOT TREATED EQUALS !!!

All what I want to say is that its high time we realize the fact that the largest minority in our county is still deprived of its basic rights. They have to snatch and assert them at every stage. Whether its SCs, STs, OBCs or minorities or whatever, women face pan India discrimination (which is even higher for women belonging to the mentined groups) and bear the burden of donning women assets (all socio-economic surveys, NCRB data etc testify this fact). We need to stand against it. Here “we” doesn’t mean only women but men also. Contrary to the common belief, I personally feel that women are as much as possible for their condition as men, may be much more..

Things can change. Sexual harassment can stop. The world can become a much better place to live in, provided we all move a step forward. Since charity begins at home we need to start respecting and cooperating with our mothers and grandmothers, prod our fathers and brothers to help in the household work, motivate the women in the house to take on jobs, and educate our girls. Mothers need to stand up for their daughters and daughter in laws, sisters for their sister in law and so on so forth

 As far as preventing sexual harassment is concerned, besides all of the above (which generate a feeling of love and respect towards women in general), the highly visible sections of the society need to respond proactively. This includes media, politicians, bollywood, television industry, academicians, social workers etc. It pains me to see that each one of them is in slumber. PM Modi used to speak a lot. 8 months later, things haven’t changed much. Simply bringing amendments in Criminal laws won’t do (which UPA did). The whole environment needs to change. He came up with “Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao” but that addresses one part of the problem. Its not only the girls, but kids of all age who are sexually molested. Even men have to face it. Therefore it calls for gender neutral strict laws and a paradigm shift in strategy. I see cover page advertisements as a part of electioneering but can’t they come up with catchy advertisements on hoardings, televisions, newspapers etc concerning the sexual harassment issue !! No where do I see it. Its simply not on priority.

Similarly bollywood, television industry etc behave in the most irresponsible way. Instead of taking up these issues, they seem to promote all of it. Academicians don’t seem to care. Its an irony that women and children are indeed considered as flesh for the depraved souls and the saner ones, they never seem to care…

I wish it doesn’t take a NIRBHAYA to wake up the nation again. I’m sure, there will be a country for women !!!

7th Feb, 2015